Review: I'm Not Her by Janet Gurtler

I'm Not Her by Janet Gurtler
Published: March 26th, 2011
Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire
Pages: 320
Challenge: Debut Author Challenge 2011, 100+ Reading Challenge
Other: Janet's second book, If I Tell, will be published on October 1st, 2011.
Buy the book: Bookdepository


Tess is the exact opposite of her beautiful, athletic sister. And that’s okay. Kristina is the sporty one, Tess is the smart one, and they each have their place. Until Kristina is diagnosed with cancer. Suddenly Tess is the center of the popular crowd, everyone eager for updates. There are senior boys flirting with her. Yet the smiles of her picture-perfect family are cracking and her sister could be dying. Now Tess has to fill a new role: the strong one. Because if she doesn’t hold it together, who will?

Please note that nothing I say in this review can describe the intensity of the emotions I felt while reading this book.

Wow. Just.. Wow. Janet Gurtler's debut novel is one that both broke my heart and won it over at the same time.

We follow Tess in a difficult time when her popular sister is diagnosed with cancer and she suddenly finds herself getting a lot of attention from the popular crowd - something she has carefully avoided in her school career. She struggles to deal with her sister's disease and to top it all of, she can talk to nobody about it. It's breaking her and it was absolutely heart breaking to read this.

But the story is not only about the cancer that Kristina was diagnosed with. It's about dealing with a possibly deadly disease that affects an entire family, friends and even people at school who were never really close to Kristina. It's about realizing what's important. It's about standing up for yourself and for someone who can't do that for herself. Because sometimes people lose focus of what and who this is all about, and what's really important.

At a certain point in this book, I had to put it down because I was crying so much, I couldn't read one more word on the page because my sight was so blurry. I really cried, not just a few tears. The story grabbed my heart and squeezed and I can only say that it's because of Gurtler's magnificent story.

The story is brilliantly written, grabbing me within the first few pages and not even letting me go right away when I finished reading. The characters are written so well, so real, that I could completely feel with every single one of them - even Tess and Kristina's parents, who are in denial. It's an emotional rollercoaster and I could not stop reading.

My overall rating:


Gurtler's debut novel is raw, emotional, powerful and has immediately earned a spot among my favorite authors.